The Pub Landlord’s rules are a pint for the fella and a glass of white wine or fruit based drink for the lady. It might be the 21st century but the landlord’s gaff is the last bastion of all things normal. He ain’t interested in change. It’s just the way things are, and don’t you or anybody else go questioning it.

• Phil Daniels
• Al Murray
• David Walliams
• Alexander Armstrong
• Roy Heather
• Rebecca Front
• Marc Bannerman
• Andrew MacKay